First Presbyterian Church
Know Your Own Strengths
Sermon for June 19, 2005
by Pastor Susan Barnes

This is the ancient story of Isaac and Ishmael. It seems so harsh to us, but the ancient writer tells it as a story of God's great mercy. It begins a about a year after the birth of Isaac, the baby of   Sarah's old age. Listen for the word of God as it is found in Genesis 21:8-21.

8 The child grew, and was weaned; and Abraham made a great feast on the day that Isaac was weaned. 9 But Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne to Abraham, playing with her son Isaac. 10 So she said to Abraham, “Cast out this slave woman with her son; for the son of this slave woman shall not inherit along with my son Isaac.”

11 The matter was very distressing to Abraham on account of his son. 12 But God said to Abraham, "Do not be distressed because of the boy and because of your slave woman; whatever Sarah says to you, do as she tells you, for it is through Isaac that offspring shall be named for you. 13 As for the son of the slave woman, I will make a nation of him also, because he is your offspring."

14 So Abraham rose early in the morning, and took bread and a skin of water, and gave it to Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, along with the child, and sent her away. And she departed, and wandered about in the wilderness of Beer-sheba.15 When the water in the skin was gone, she cast the child under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went and sat down opposite him a good way off, about the distance of a bowshot; for she said, “Do not let me look on the death of the child.” And as she sat opposite him, she lifted up her voice and wept.

17 And God heard the voice of the boy; and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven, and said to her, “What troubles you, Hagar? Do not be afraid; for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is. 18 Come, lift up the boy and hold him fast with your hand, for I will make a great nation of him.” 9 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. She went, and filled the skin with water, and gave the boy a drink.

20 God was with the boy, and he grew up; he lived in the wilderness, and became an expert with the bow. 21 He lived in the wilderness of Paran; and his mother got a wife for him from the land of Egypt.

This ends our reading from Genesis. That's a sad reading for father's day. Isaac, the child of the promise was born, but all was not well. “The immediate result of the miraculous birth is anger, jealousy, rejection, banishment and near death.” Abraham knew that his beloved wife Sarah was being unkind to Ishmael. He was distressed about it. His distress shows his love for Ishmael. But when he sent them out, he just gave them a little bit of water and bread. Hagar puts her son under a bush so he would have some shade before he died.

But God saved both Hagar and Ishmael. God continued to care for them both. 1

I think of fathers today, who have to mediate between children of an ex- wife and a new wife, or fathers who are denied their children because of a decision of their mother. Fathers grieve. Children need to know about their father's grief.

I know one divorced man, whose ex-wife refused to let him see the children. They lived across the country, and he couldn't see them. So he started a savings account for each of his sons, so that when they turned 18, they would see the constant deposits by him in their accounts. I lost touch with him, but I always hoped his sons would know that he loved them still.

In our story, God takes care of Ishmael, too, and made him into a great nation. The Arabs consider themselves sons of Abraham through Ishmael. So Jews and Arabs are brothers, brothers who once enjoyed one another, but were separated out of fear and jealousy.

We see from the story that God's care is not restricted to just one nation. Despite the obstacles that human beings put up, God can find a way to show mercy.

Our new testament reading is on page 156. The Apostle Paul speaks of starting new lives in Christ, answering the old question “If Jesus saves, does that mean it doesn't matter what we do in life?” Listen for the word of God as it is found in Romans 6:1-11.

6:1 What then are we to say? Should we continue in sin in order that grace may abound?   2 By no means! How can we who died to sin go on living in it? 3 Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?

  4 Therefore we have been buried with him by baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. 5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.

6 We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be destroyed, and we might no longer be enslaved to sin. 7 For whoever has died is freed from sin.   8 But if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9 We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. 10 The death he died, he died to sin, once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. 11 So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

This ends our reading from the word of God.

Sin is one of those obstacles human beings put up, and those obstacles prevent us from a relationship with God. But the obstacles do not have the last word. Christ's death and resurrection exposed the weakness of sin and the strength of God. I imagine that as we grow in Christ, we die in sin, I hope a little bit each day. Some days it seems like we're lucky just to hold steady, and not slip back.

Now there are some things fathers do know best about. And some things mothers know best about.

I've found that generally the parent who hasn't been with the children all day can make the best parenting decisions because that parent has a bit of perspective and distance, and hasn't been worn down by constant complaints and whines.

And also that generally, the parent who has been with the children all day can make the best parenting decisions because that parent knows exactly what's happened and how the child is feeling, and what has worked that day and what hasn't.  

In a two-parent family, when both parents are committed to raising the children together, there's a little tension sometimes about which parent answers which question at what time. It was supposed to be easier in the old days, when men went out to work, and women did the child-rearing, without exception. But exactly when were those old days? Here's something I read recently:

“Now you tell me, when a father goes ahead and washes diapers or performs some other mean task for his child, and someone ridicules him as an effeminate fool, though that father is acting in the spirit just described and in Christian faith, my dear fellow you tell me, which of the two is most keenly ridiculing the other? God, with all his angels and creatures, is smiling, not because that father is washing diapers, but because he is doing so in Christian faith. Those who sneer at him and see only the task but not the faith are ridiculing God with all his creatures, as the biggest fool on earth. Indeed, they are only ridiculing themselves; with all their cleverness they are nothing but devil's fools.” 2

Martin Luther wrote that four hundred eighty–three years ago.

Here's another one:

“But I do say that, since in the human race man's constitution is stronger and women as weaker, tasks should be assigned which are suited to the nature of each; that is the heavier tasks should be assigned to the stronger and lighter ones to the weaker. Thus spinning and indoor work should be more fitting for women than for men, while gymnastics and outdoor work would be more suitable for men. Occasionally, however, some men might more fittingly handle certain of the lighter tasks and what is generally considered women's work, and again, women might do heavier tasks which seem more appropriate for men whenever conditions of strength, need, or circumstance warranted.” 3

Musonius Rufus, a Roman philosopher wrote that 1,906 years ago at the latest.

And so, why do people still treat the idea of fathers acting like fathers as if it's unusual? Why do we still act surprised to see a father out with children? At Vacation Bible School this week, three dads were among the mothers, grandparents, and babysitters who came to pick up their children. Dads want to be involved with their children, and I think it's about time we as a society just accepted it. Just because a man is strong doesn't mean he can't know how to be gentle.

And if we look at God as our father, we see he is intimately involved in his children's lives. God is not a removed dad, just earning the money for the household or mailing in child support.

But the patriarchy of the world tells us that a man's worth is in his finances and his physical strength. A woman's worth is in her looks and her child-bearing. We Christians know that is not true. We find our worth in being children of God. But the sin of patriarchy is a hard one to die to, to use Paul's phrase. We have to consider ourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Sometimes people confuse strength with superiority, and figure that those who do heavy lifting are better than those who can't. They forget that with strength comes obligations. I read this story a while ago, and saved it for father's day.

“ A clergywoman friend told me about taking her car to the Jiffy Lube on a weekend to get it serviced. While she was waiting she looked for something to read. Her choices were “Field and Stream”, “Popular Mechanics,” and a small white manual for boat owners. She chose the manual. And she flicked through and ran to a chapter called, “The Rules of the Open Seas,” which described two kinds of vessels, burdened boats and privileged boats. Burdened boats are like rowboats or sailboats. They have no power, and are at the mercy of the tide, wind, and human effort. Privileged boats have motors and have the power to go where they want when they want. And the Rule of the Open Sea says when a privileged and a burdened boat meet in open sea; the rule is that the privileged boat must give way, so that the burdened boat can make it to safe harbor. My friend said she quickly turned to the front of the book to discover the author of this great theological treatise. Could it be Karl Barth? Or Martin Luther King? Or Abraham Joshua Heschel? She said, no, it was the Department of Transportation of New Jersey.” 4

I thought maybe the story was apocryphal, but I looked up some boating rules. And basically, it's true; some boats have more obligations than other boat, although the modern terms are stand-on vessel and give-way vessel, rather than privileged and burdened. There are rules for boats on a collision course so that they will turn away from each other and not toward each other on a different collision course. There are rules that say if you are turning, you have to turn in such a way that the other boat can tell you are turning; a gentle turning of four degrees is not enough to let the oncoming boat know that you are turning. Forty degrees is much better.

Yet small boats are more maneuverable than larger boats. Sometimes it is the smaller maneuverable boat that is burdened, and the larger boat that is privileged, depending on the width of the waterway and traffic.

Our abilities change, depending, as Rufus said, on conditions, needs and circumstance. If a man depends on his strength and power for his self-esteem, as he ages, he's going to lose his self-esteem as he loses his strength and when he retires from the world of paid work.

But if a man relies on being raised with Christ, on being dead to sin, because of God's grace, that honor can carry him through situations where he has to face new losses of strength, and rely on different gifts.  

  That's also how we can know our own strength without feeling superior. We can know that we are strong in some areas, and so we have the burden to make way for others. When we don't recognize our strengths, we can't share them. Humility can carry us through situations of being privileged or burdened, stand on or give-way. When we know our strength comes from God, we are freed from the temptation to believe our power is of our own doing. God strengthens us.

Happy Father's Day.

1 Williams, Michael E., The Storyteller's Companion to the Bible, vol. 1, Genesis, p. 111.

2Luther, Martin, The Estate of Marriage, 1522, part three, Brandt translation.

3 Musonius Rufus, Should Daughters Receive the Same Educations as sons?,   quoted in Hellenistic commentary to the New Testament,   p. 533,   § 895.

4 Edelman, Marian Wright, sermon, National Cathedral, October 13, 2002 http://www.cathedral.org/cathedral/worship/mwe021013.shtml