First Presbyterian Church
Drives
Sermon for August 13 2006
by Pastor Susan Barnes

Have you ever gotten really mad and yelled or broken anything? What makes you mad? Here's a story about being mad:

Once there was a bottle of Diet Coke®. It was having a terrible day. It was hot in the delivery van, and the road was bumpy, so the bottle was sweaty and sore. Then, in the grocery store, the stocker dropped it on the floor, then put it on the shelf crooked so that its back started to hurt. By the time someone bought it, it was really angry.

So do you know what happened? When someone dropped in, (I drop the mento into the Diet Coke®) the bottle exploded. (Diet Coke® bubbled up two feet) It made a huge mess, bigger than this one that took the bottle of Diet Coke® a long time to clean up. It had to apologize to a lot of people.

So do you know what that bottle learned to do? It learned to chill out slowly. It still got annoyed once in a while, but it learned to take care of itself and say things like “May I open a window. I'm too hot.” Or “Help, I'm crooked. Please straighten me out” or “Wow, my back hurts. I need to get some ice.” And it lived happily ever after. Let's pray.

Our first reading begins on page 292. We've been following the story of King David in 2 Samuel this summer. We heard how the prophet Nathan confronted David about his adultery, and we heard David's confession. Now we move on to the political and military intrigue of David's court. David had a harem of wives and concubines.

One of David's sons was Absalom, whose mother was a princess of a neighboring state. When Absalom's half-brother raped his sister Tamar, Absalom killed him, and was exiled in his mother's home. David's general Joab mediated with David, and eventually Absalom came back to the court. Absalom was full of resentment and led a rebellion against his father King David. He was almost successful, but David's army overcame Absalom's militia. Listen for the word of God as it is found in 2 Samuel 18:5-9, 15, 31-33.

5 The king ordered Joab and Abishai and Ittai, saying, “Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom.” And all the people heard when the king gave orders to all the commanders concerning Absalom. 6 So the army went out into the field against Israel; and the battle was fought in the forest of Ephraim.

7 The men of Israel were defeated there by the servants of David, and the slaughter there was great on that day, twenty thousand men. 8 The battle spread over the face of all the country; and the forest claimed more victims that day than the sword.

9 Absalom happened to meet the servants of David. Absalom was riding on his mule, and the mule went under the thick branches of a great oak. His head caught fast in the oak, and he was left hanging between heaven and earth, while the mule that was under him went on.

15 And ten young men, Joab's armor-bearers, surrounded Absalom and struck him, and killed him.

31 Then the Cushite came; and the Cushite said, “Good tidings for my lord the king! For the LORD has vindicated you this day, delivering you from the power of all who rose up against you.”

32 The king said to the Cushite, “Is it well with the young man Absalom?” The Cushite answered, “May the enemies of my lord the king, and all who rise up to do you harm, be like that young man.”

33 The king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept; and as he went, he said, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

This ends our reading from 2 Samuel. David's grief is not just for his son's death, but for his son's rebellion against him. David turned away from Absaolom, so Absalom attacked his father. He went to war against his father, imitating his father's violence and disregard for God's commandments. David grieves his own sins, as well as the death of his son. Our psalm echoes David's grief. Psalm 130 is found on page 573. Listen for the word of God as we read it together from Psalm 130.

1 A Song of Ascents. Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD.

2 Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications!

3 If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand?

4 But there is forgiveness with you, so that you may be revered.

5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; 6 my soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning, more than those who watch for the morning.

7 O Israel , hope in the LORD! For with the LORD there is steadfast love, and with him is great power to redeem.

8 It is he who will redeem Israel from all its iniquities.

This ends our reading from the psalm. Our epistle reading is on page 374.

The letter to the church in Ephesus , teaches Jewish and Gentile Chrsitians how to live as a community of people who follow Christ. The letter was written in Paul's style, but probably not by Paul himself. This section emphasizes truthful and kind speech.

Listen for the word of God as it is found in Ephesians 4:25-5:2.

25 So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another. 26 Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not make room for the devil.

28 Thieves must give up stealing; rather let them labor and work honestly with their own hands, so as to have something to share with the needy.

29 Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption.

31 Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, 32 and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.

5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, 2 and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

This ends our reading from Ephesians.

The first part of the text refers to being angry without sinning, and don't make room for the devil. The Greek word for devil also means slanderer or adversary. So when you are angry, do not allow your anger to make you say what is untrue.

Anger can make us do crazy things, as we see here in this letter to Tom and Ray, the mechanics of CarTalk.

Dear Tom and Ray:

Today I was involved in an accident. I was happily cruising along at the speed limit (35 mph), in the right lane, when someone came up behind me. He was clearly very upset that I was doing just the speed limit, and he could not stand being unable to get around me because of a line of cars in the other lane. He began to follow me very closely.

Now, this situation activated some kind of psychological trigger for me, and I responded by tapping my brakes, causing him to swerve into the other lane (fortunately, there was a gap in the line of cars there). He didn't stay there, though. He swerved back into my lane, and followed me even more closely. I responded by applying my brakes gently, and he proceeded to hit my car -- four times before we came to a stop! I got out of the car and started yelling at him, which he reacted to by leaving the scene -- fortunately, after I was able to get his license number. There was no visible damage to my car, but I filed a police report anyway.

Now, legally, I know that the accident is entirely his fault. But ethically, I feel that I could have avoided the accident if I had not reacted in such a rash way. I have come to the conclusion that I react this way because I feel like I am being bullied, and I do not like being pushed around. I am normally a totally nonaggressive driver who gives everyone lots of room and who drives at the speed limit, even when I feel that I would like to be going a lot faster. My question is, can you suggest an alternate, less self-destructive but equally satisfying response other than hitting the brakes when I am being tailgated? -- Cliff

You want something equally as satisfying as having him crash into your car four times and then take off? Well, you could drive into a tree to make him feel bad. Unfortunately, the only reasonable thing to do in that situation is ignore the guy, Cliff. That's difficult to do when somebody is being an unmitigated jerk …. But if you're doing the speed limit and driving legally, that's the only good solution. Anything else is escalation -- and, as you realized, that makes you equally responsible for the results. He does one thing; you retaliate by doing something else. Then he retaliates, and pretty soon …. nobody even remembers, or cares, who started it.

It's very tempting to "teach the other guy a lesson." But that's not your job. My brother tried that for years. When someone would tailgate him, he'd stop the car in the middle of the road, get out, walk around and ask if there was a problem. After being punched in the nose five or six times, and paying off the vacation homes of several local plastic surgeons, he finally gave up and now leaves the lessons to the police.

That's what you need to do, too, Cliff. … When something like this happens, remember that people ultimately get what they deserve, even if it isn't at that exact moment. If you're a nice person, good things will happen to you. If you're a jerk, the police will eventually pull you over, you'll get a $200 ticket, [and] your insurance rates will go up $400 a year. 1

Cliff knew better, but couldn't stop himself. And so the situation escalated. It's natural and human. But we are called to be more than that. Ephesians calls us to be imitators of God, to put away bitterness and anger and slander and malice. I know that's hard to do when someone is tailgating you and driving dangerously. But we are supposed to be kind, tenderhearted and forgiving.

Ben Weir, a former GA moderator and a missionary in Lebanon for 30 years, was held captive in Lebanon for 16 months in 1984-5 by an Islamic fundamentalist group, Islamic Jihad, that later morphed into Hezbollah. He has plenty of reason to be angry at Hezbollah. But he doesn't fuel his anger and let it drive him.

Instead, he says “This tragic situation today brings back bitter memories of previous invasions of Lebanon. These two antagonists, Israel and Hezbollah, have brought deep wounds on themselves….Hezbollah has brought down the Lebanese house around itself and when the dust settles I expect there to be a strong reaction by the Lebanese public.” Ben insists that laying the blame solely on Hezbollah is to see the situation in the region too simplistically. He says “It's not just Hezbollah, but anger generated throughout the Middle East about the whole Palestinian issue…The anger is coming from Arab people generally, not just Hezbollah, about the inability of both Israel and the Palestinians to reach a [peace] agreement.”

He asks us all to pray fervently. 2 I thought of his book Hostage Bound, Hostage Free, where he said “Life is divinely given. Each person is to be respected and deserves to be heard. The captors themselves need to be set free. We are all recipients of God's mercy and forgiveness. On that basis we can begin to trust each other and find the constructive things we can do together as Muslims and Christians.”

And then I received a form letter this week. The letter says basically “there's no point in pursuing peace in the middle east; the Bible says war is inevitable and will usher in Christ's return. The best we can do is convert people there during this critical hour. Please send us money so we can do that.” 3

That is not in the Bible I read. That is not how I interpret the Bible. I think that is a dangerous interpretation.

In our reading from 2 Samuel, David laments his son's death, even though he was a political enemy. He said “Would that I had died instead of you, Absalom.” It's as if he finally realized that he reaped what he sowed; he alienated his son, his son retaliated, and the violence spiraled out of control. One commentator reflecting on this story said that “ sons are brought to grief by the injustices their fathers first put in place and the sons inevitably imitate.” 4

And that is cause for deep lament. Lament from the depths, as we read together in Psalm 130. And even in the depths, the psalmist knows that God is there, or at least within earshot, 5 listening to the lament.

There is enough grief in the world that there is no need to add to it. There are plenty of depths dragging us down, even without violence and retaliation.

When I read this psalm that cried out of the depths and spoke of the power of God, I thought of what happened to me on Monday afternoon. I spent a long time waiting for the Lord to deliver an ambulance. I was ten miles from Ontario in the freeway median, beside a van on its side and a young girl on the ground. I had stopped as soon as I saw the van. I grabbed our new cell phone, one that I barely know how to use, to call 911, only to learn that someone else had called.

I didn't know what to do. A few people were already there. My first aid training vanished from my head and my hands. I leaned down, took the girl's hand and said the lamest prayer I've ever said. Words left me. I felt completely powerless. After my Amen, I stood up, and all I could pray was “Help, God, help, God, help, God.” All I could think of to do was to stand near her head, shading her face from the sun, which was fierce. One man unrolled a sleeping bag from the van, and put it under her head. Another man put a sheet over her to protect the rest of her. One of them got her purse and a suitcase and put it near her, so when the ambulance came, they would take what she needed.

One woman was amazingly calm and organized. She had been the first on the scene, there when the wheels were still spinning in the air. She was on the phone to her brother, a facial surgeon. She said what we all knew: don't move her. She made sure that someone was holding the girl's hand the whole time.

The girl had been thrown clear from the van, and was in a lot of pain. She was on her side, and wanted to roll onto her back, and the others tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted. If she tried to roll over, what were we supposed to do? Fight her to hold her in place? That seemed more dangerous.

I had noticed a large thistle plant right behind her back. I told her to wait just a minute, and I used my skirt to protect my hand and yanked out the thistle so she wouldn't lay on it. I was glad the thistle gave me something to do. I knew I should be doing more, but didn't know what. A Hispanic couple arrived, and the wife knelt down and began praying in Spanish. She had plenty of quiet urgent words. I was grateful for every one. Her words gave me grace, even though I couldn't understand her.

The girl's mother and sister arrived down below; they had been driving ahead and had to double back. I asked the husband to take my place as a sunshade and ran down to them. I told them the girl was awake, alert, and she needed them to be calm.

Then there was nothing for any of us to do except wait for the ambulance. That waiting was hard and long. It seemed wrong to chitchat with the others as we waited; talking seemed trivial. Once the ambulance came, we went back to our cars, to resume our driving. I'm guessing all of us drove especially carefully. We had been reminded what is at stake when we are behind the wheel.

The letter to the Ephesians reminds us what is at stake. Following Christ requires a way of living that may be different from what we'd been taught. We don't have to protect our honor and retaliate. We can wait for the Lord. We don't allow our anger to control us, but instead let love drive us. Amen.

1 www.cartalk.com/content/columns/Archive/2006/June/06.html

2 VanMarter, Jerry, “Ben Weir: Middle East peace failure spawned Lebanon violence” PCUSA News, August 4, 2006, www.pcusa.org/pcnews/2006/06392.htm

3 Personal communication, Prayer Alert from Franklin Graham.

4New Interpreter's Bible vol. ,II, p 1,342.

5New Interpreter's Bible vol. IV , p. 1,207.

6I got the organized woman's cell phone number. I drove to Boise, picked up Eleanor, and stopped at the hospital in Ontario on the way back. The girl's dad told me she had three broken vertebra and would have to wear a cast, but she would recover. I told him about the people at the scene so that he would know she was with people who cared about her, even though all of us were strangers. I called the organized woman. She was on her way to Colorado with her children to meet her husband. I complimented her on her calm attitude, and she was surprised. She felt powerless and useless and had been impressed with me. Go figure.