Our first scripture reading is from Isaiah, on page 679 of your pew bibles. We read from a section called the servant songs. The servant is both a person and the whole people Israel. In the midst of the Babylonian exile, Isaiah dares to speak about a servant empowered by God, who has been called to rescue all those who have been taken away from Israel and are captive to other empires. This is a hymn of thanksgiving even while the servant has labored in vain to do God's will. Listen for the word of God as we read it together from Isaiah 49:1-7.
1 Listen to me, O coastlands, pay attention, you peoples from far away! The LORD called me before I was born, while I was in my mother's womb he named me.
2 He made my mouth like a sharp sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me a polished arrow, in his quiver he hid me away.
3 And he said to me, "You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will be glorified."
4 But I said, "I have labored in vain, I have spent my strength for nothing and vanity; yet surely my cause is with the LORD, and my reward with my God."
5 And now the LORD says, who formed me in the womb to be his servant, to bring Jacob back to him, and that Israel might be gathered to him, for I am honored in the sight of the LORD, and my God has become my strength--
6 he says, "It is too light a thing that you should be my servant to raise up the tribes of Jacob and to restore the survivors of Israel; I will give you as a light to the nations, that my salvation may reach to the end of the earth."
7 Thus says the LORD, the Redeemer of Israel and his Holy One, to one deeply despised, abhorred by the nations, the slave of rulers, "Kings shall see and stand up, princes, and they shall prostrate themselves, because of the LORD, who is faithful, the Holy One of Israel, who has chosen you."
This ends our reading from Isaiah. Israel's survivors will be raised and restored through the servant, but it isn't enough. The nations are going to be illuminated through what the servant does. The nations will be able to see what the other nations are doing, and others will be able to see their activities. This is what God has called the servant to do.
Last week we heard the call of Jesus' first disciples in Matthew. Today, we hear it in John's gospel. Our reading beings on page 92. In this story, the first disciples are not fishermen, but disciples of John. John's gospel begins by telling us who Jesus is, and spends the rest of the gospel expanding on the person of Jesus. Listen for the word of God as it is found in John 1:29-42.
29 The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him and declared, "Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! 30 This is he of whom I said, 'After me comes a man who ranks ahead of me because he was before me.' 31 I myself did not know him; but I came baptizing with water for this reason, that he might be revealed to Israel."
32 And John testified, "I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it remained on him. 33 I myself did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water said to me, 'He on whom you see the Spirit descend and remain is the one who baptizes with the Holy Spirit.' 34 And I myself have seen and have testified that this is the Son of God."
35 The next day John again was standing with two of his disciples, 36 and as he watched Jesus walk by, he exclaimed, "Look, here is the Lamb of God!"
37 The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus.
38 When Jesus turned and saw them following, he said to them, "What are you looking for?" They said to him, "Rabbi" (which translated means Teacher), "where are you staying?"
39 He said to them, "Come and see." They came and saw where he was staying, and they remained with him that day. It was about four o'clock in the afternoon.
40 One of the two who heard John speak and followed him was Andrew, Simon Peter's brother. 41 He first found his brother Simon and said to him, "We have found the Messiah" (which is translated Anointed).
42 He brought Simon to Jesus, who looked at him and said, "You are Simon son of John. You are to be called Cephas" (which is translated Peter).
This ends our gospel reading. John's gospel tells us who Jesus is: the lamb of god who takes away the sins of the world. He was in the beginning; he bears the Holy Spirit, he is the son of God.
Let's listen to the choir sing about that joy.
Our epistle reading is from the first letter to the Corinthians, on page 165. It is Paul's opening greeting, and reminds the church in Corinth that they have spiritual gifts. Listen for the word of God as it is found in 1 Corinthians 1:1-9.
1 Paul, called to be an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and our brother Sosthenes, 2 To the church of God that is in Corinth, to those who are sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints, together with all those who in every place call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, both their Lord and ours:
3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
4 I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that has been given you in Christ Jesus, 5 for in every way you have been enriched in him, in speech and knowledge of every kind-- 6 just as the testimony of Christ has been strengthened among you-- 7 so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ.
8 He will also strengthen you to the end, so that you may be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 God is faithful; by him you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
This ends our reading of God's word. Paul uses the word ‘saint' to describe anyone who follows Jesus. We usually think of a saint as someone who is perfect, but it just means a church member to Paul. ‘Saint' can also be translated ‘holy one.' Most of us don't feel particularly holy most of the time; I know I don't. But that didn't matter to Paul. He was confident the churches were called into fellowship by Jesus. That makes the church members saints, and it should make them thankful and respectful and kind. But it doesn't, judging by Paul's advice to them in the rest of the letter. Some of them are discouraged.
Old testament prophets became discouraged too, even while they knew the Lord is great and glorious. In our reading, the suffering servant says to the Lord, “I have labored in vain, I have spent my strength for nothing and vanity.”
I think most of us have experienced that feeling of uselessness – it's as if all our work is for nothing; there isn't anything we can do that matters. Most of the time, the feeling passes. Someone comes by who wants our company or offers theirs, or who needs help with something we can take care of easily or offers us help that takes care of something we've been dreading. But sometimes no one comes who can help, and that feeling stays and sours and becomes depression.
A Christian doctor, David Hilfiker, who suffers from depression wrote:
“… how many of us who have suffered from emotional or mental illness have at least once blamed our symptoms on our spiritual failings. If I could just be grateful for God's love, I wouldn't be so depressed. If I could just give my troubles over to God, I wouldn't be so anxious. If I could just pray with more integrity, I would have some relief from this confusion and chaos. And how many of us have unconsciously judged another's emotional chaos as some indication that their spiritual life was in chaos, too?…
How often do we hear something like … ‘One of the marks of true spirituality is the joy one feels in one's life.' ‘Bring your life under the Lordship of Christ, and He'll bring peace and joy into your life.' ‘Enter into the Reign of God, and you'll know the tranquility and joy of true obedience.'
… For years I listened to Christian friends describe ‘peace' or ‘joy' as fruits of their walk with God, knowing that I hadn't ever experienced anything remotely like it. Their happiness was just further proof of my distance from God. If the path of faith brings serenity, I hadn't come close.
…My depression expresses itself in a limited sense of joy…
I have never been fully able enter into the relationship with God, either,” the doctor says. “I don't experience God's presence as real; I don't experience joy in my relationship with God. At least in comparison to what I sense in others, my relationship with God has always seemed to lack something. I have tried to enter into the life of the church, done my best to follow Jesus. I have taken on our church's disciplines of membership: an hour of quiet time daily, tithing, weekly worship, silent retreat, and participation in corporate mission. I have been physician to the very poor and homeless, lived in our home for homeless men with AIDS. I have been an active preacher and worship leader.
But still, no experience of God. No real joy in my work. No sense of relationship with God. I sometimes even kept myself outside of the faith community because I didn't feel the relationship with God and didn't want to be a hypocrite. Twice I dropped completely out of church membership. I'd sometimes complain to Mary Cosby—a truly wise elder of our community—about my inability to experience God. Mary would listen carefully and then say something like this: ‘David, you may not feel you have a relationship with God, but God clearly has a relationship with you. Trust me: God has entered into your life, and you've responded to Him. You belong in this church as a member.'
I've learned to take Mary at her word. I've come to believe I do have a relationship with God, that it's a real relationship, and that I belong in the body of believers … even if I don't feel it. In the same way that my depression interferes with my emotional relationships with others, it interferes with my spirituality. That sense of great distance from God is a delusion of my mental illness. Through such people as Mary, my community is able to restore in me some faith in my own relationship with God.
I need people not to require that my spirituality bring me any particular joy, for if joy is some measure of spirituality I'm a long way from home. If a relationship with God brings one peace and a sense of harmony with the world, then I have little relationship with God. My spirituality needs to be understood as different from others … at least when I'm in the throes of my depression.”
He isn't the only one whose spiritual life is joyless. Mother Teresa wrote about that. She was a nun who worked with the poorest of the poor in Calcutta, and won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979. Her writings were published last year, and the newspapers have reported on some of them. You might have been surprised to learn about the despair that Mother Teresa felt. She wrote:
“They say people in hell suffer eternal pain because of loss of God. In my soul, I feel just the terrible pain of loss, of God not wanting me, of God not being God, of God not really existing…
Jesus, please forgive the blasphemy -- I have been told to write everything --that darkness that surrounds me on all sides. I can't lift my soul to God: No light, no inspiration enters my soul.” 1
“I have to keep smiling all the time...They think that it is my faith, my hope and my love that is overwhelming me, and that my intimacy with God and union with His Will are filling my heart. If they only knew.” 2
David Hilfiker found it easier when other people knew his spiritual emptiness. He wrote:
My spiritual need is like my emotional need. I need my community to enter into the darkness of my distance from God. I need their willingness to bring their relationship with God into my darkness and hold it there without imposing it on me. Can they be there even if I don't respond very much?
One of the reasons that [my wife] Marja and I have been able to maintain our marriage relationship over thirty years is that Marja has never taken on my emotional or spiritual health as her responsibility. At a certain point—after she's listened and tried to understand—she rolls over and goes to sleep. She gets on with her life. I need my community to come into my darkness with me, but I don't want them to get consumed by it.
When we are most deeply rooted in God's love, we know that no one can move himself outside of God's love. When I'm sick, I may not be aware of my spiritual connection to the depths of life, I may not be able to utilize my spirituality as a resource, but those in my community know it's there, anyway. Their willingness to bring that certainty into our relationship is healing. They don't necessarily need to say anything. (In fact, when I'm in the depths, being verbally reminded of God's love can be really aggravating.) But they know it, and they can hold me in their knowledge of it.” 3
I appreciated what David Hilfiker had to say. Most of us haven't experienced that kind of alienating depression. But we know someone who has. A friend of mine was at rock bottom, addiction-wise and depression-wise. I told him that I would hold onto the knowledge that he is a good person and is loved, even if he couldn't feel it himself. He told me years later how much that mattered to him. So I offer that to all of you; when we know someone's emotional and spiritual health is not our responsibility, but we feel for them, we can certainly say, “I am holding on to the truth I know. You are a good person and worthwhile, even if you don't know it.” We can be like David's friend Mary who said, “you belong in this church as a member.”
When I was young I read about how a CEO was able to accomplish so many things. She wrote down six things to do each day, and did the hardest one first to get it out of the way. I've also been advised to do the easiest thing first to get myself moving. I've tried both. Usually I write down six things I've been putting off and should do, and really don't want to begin, so I end up doing things not on my list at all. Then I hate myself for procrastinating. That's a good way to begin a depression. Now, I've learned I have to do it differently. I look at my list and instead of prioritizing them from most urgent to least important, I ask what will give me the most joy? What will relieve me the most and give me the greatest satisfaction? I do that one first.
Sometimes it is visiting someone who needs a pastoral visit. So instead of returning a phone call or typing up minutes or cleaning my desk or reviewing a docket, I go to someone's home or hospital room.
I was pleased to see “caring for others” in a list of how to remedy spiritual dryness. Victor Parachin is a Disciples of Christ pastor and grief therapist who wrote about seven ways to jump start your spiritual life. I wanted to tell you all seven today, but instead I'll tell you just one, and save the other six for future sermons.
Parachin suggested using your time, talent and money to ease the suffering of others. He suggested “be a big sister, tutor a young person, coach a sports team or work in a soup kitchen.” I would add that what we are doing today for the Souper Bowl is part of helping others. When you put money into the soup can, notice it. When you bring someone some soup or clear someone's dirty bowl, remember it later. This is something that is making a difference.
But helping others isn't an automatic depression-stopper or guaranteed spiritual life jump-starter. David, the doctor who wrote those heartfelt words about depression, has worked as a rural doctor and run an inner city clinic; he helped form a medical recovery center for homeless men, and then founded a house for HIV+ men who used to be homeless. He's written two books and many articles on medical care for the poor. That's a lot of helping others. Surely that was enough. But it wasn't for him. He needed the church members to hold him with their faith, and he needed Mary's words: “you belong.”
In the midst of the complaint in Isaiah, the servant says, “Yet surely my cause is with the LORD, and my reward with my God.” The Lord doesn't offer reassurance and say to the servant, “you haven't spent your strength for nothing and vanity – look what you have accomplished.” Instead, the Lord said “your original task is too trifling a thing. Now I am charging you to be a light to the nations.” The servant was empowered to do even more and told “you are chosen.”
Most of us don't have the gifts and skills to minister to the poorest of the poor, or start clinics and recovery centers in inner cities. But I know many of you are able to listen to Paul's words and demonstrate the grace of God that has been given you in Christ Jesus. You can say “you belong” to someone who needs to hear it. This is another way saints can be faithful and be Christ's church, and offer holy grace and peace.
1 “ Letters, Diaries Show Highs, Lows Of Mother Teresa's Prayer Life,” Catholic World News, Sept. 14, 2001. www.cwnews.com/news/viewstory.cfm?recnum=16366
2 news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/2529471.stm
3 reprinted with permission by personal communication 1-24-08. Hilfiker, David, “When Mental Illness Blocks the Spirit,” The Other Side, May$ & June 2002, p. 10-15. I have the original article, and you can read the whole thing at www.davidhilfiker.com/docs/Spirituality/When%20Mental%20Illness%20Blocks%20the%20Spirit.htm |
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